P.T.S.D.

Welcome to "Inspiring", which is what I'm hoping to achieve by sharing poems that I myself have been inspired to write, from sometimes getting outdoors and feeling relaxed, and at other times just sitting quietly, alone, contemplating and trying some self-help.

Inspired by a visit to Budleigh Salterton in Devon, I sat on a bench, next to an inquisitive old lady, who asked me "what are you up to?"
"I'm writing a poem", I said.....
I just sat there, and for some unknown reason this poem just flowed out from inside of me, and in just 25 mins I had written something from the heart, which I consider, to this date, one of my favourites.....


"ME-SCAPE"

All around this beautiful Isle
Wherever you may be
This green and promised land that's ours
Surrounded by the sea.

I look out from this bench awhile
This seascape, far and wide
A winters breeze so chilly now
brought in upon the tide.

The broken clouds allow the sun 
To make patterns on the grey
I see the river take its course 
Streaming out into the bay.

Time to think about my life
Review my personal course
And try my best not to look back
To the problems at my source.

This air I breathe is fresh and cool
And fills my brain with clarity
Gives me the chance to clear my head
And work out my true polarity.

Relaxed, and easier to gather thoughts
When lately has been confusion
The simplest things I've struggled with
leaving me with disillusion.

My mind awake, but fingers numb
I take down these ideas
To look back over, now and then
When struggling with my fears.

Self help, I believe, is what it's called
I'm learning more and more
Of ways, in which, to banish now
The demons from my door.

So, sat here, cleaning out my mind
Whilst looking out to sea
Is good for my soul
My one true goal
Of creating a better "ME".

This place really exists. It's a folly built within the grounds of National Trust Cotehele, which is just on the Cornish side of the River Tamar, which, by the way, if you didn't know, is owned by Cornwall and not split down the middle as a border between us and them over in Devon!!
So, if you're on the Devon side and dip your finger in the Tamar, you're officially in Kernow!!
The views from the top of Prospect Tower, once you've negotiated the very dark spiral staircase that leads to the top, are indeed breathtaking and I recommend it to anyone. This is where the inspiration came for writing this poem, during one visit, when I was "up the tower for about an hour" (see? even that rhymes) and wrote this poem, on my phone in around 45 mins, whilst looking around the 360 degree view from Dartmoor to Bodmin Moor and the English Channel in the distance (it was a clear sunny day, mind you).
I was totally alone that day up the tower, which helped, as there were no distractions. Almost as though I was meant to be there for this poem to be written, and to exist.

* the word "lead" at the beginning of verse 4 is "lead" as in the soft metal (and not as in "dog") which is wrapped around the post at the top of the sprial staircase (just to clarify)





"PROSPECT TOWER"

Triangular in shape
This tower, so rare
Spiral to the top
Take in the air

Clear your mind
Revive your soul
Enliven your heart
You've reached  goal

Conquered your fears
The anxiety, the dark
Feeling much stronger
You've left your mark

*Lead topped post
At the top of the stair
You leave your name
As if to share

The success to others
You've reached the peak
Refreshing your brain
The courage to speak

About the issues
That fog your thought
Now standing aloft
Clarity is brought

Breathing in
Breathing out
High above ground
You're wanting to shout

About how you feel
From this tower so high
The demons deep down
Just allow them to fly

Off with the breeze
Into the cold air
Released from within you
Showing you care

For yourself, it's important
On a regular basis
To look after YOU
Control your own stasis

So, just looking out
From this vantage point
You mustn't allow
Your life to disjoint

One simple thing 
That's easy to do
Take care of oneself
So you, can be YOU.

I sat at a table, alone, at the "Salty Dog Cafe" near Millbrook, Cornwall.
I'd been having lots of  ideas about all the negativity that comes with those 4 letters P,T,S and D.
So, I challenged myself to come up with as many words as I could, that relate to, and negatively describe this *"Disorder" (*there's one, already!), and put them into a poem.
Having been a Pubescent Serviceman, Trained and Deployed and seen considerable suffering and loss, serving my country, from the age of 16 years old, to living as the man I am now, I had a good think about how I wanted to approach this different kind of poem. (They don't all have to rhyme, eh?)
I wanted to keep it as simple as possible, and this is how it ended up.....


"POEM THAT STANDS DEFIANTLY"

Prisoner
Tiredness
Struggle
Darkness

Paralyzed
Terrorized
Shamed
Dehumanized

Pitiful
Tears
Straining
Draining


Pointless
Talking
Suicidal
 Drowning

Painful
Thinking
 Shouting
Drinking  

Persistent
Therapy
Speaking
Destructive

Pathetic
Tedious
Solitary
Demeanor

Pessimistic
Troubled
Schizophrenic
Demons

Possessed
Truthful
Susceptible
Dosile

Perplexed
Taxing
Solemnity
Distracted

Puzzled
Tainted
Suffering
Desperate

Plagued
Terrifying
Sadness
Delusional

Pandemonium
Taunted
Scarred
Debilitating

Paranoia
Temper
Shipwrecked
Dishonoured

Polluted
Threatened
Shrinking
Disarmed

Passive
Timid
Somber
Disabled

Plagued
Tortured
Shocked
Disconsolate

Poisoned
Tormented
Stereotyped
Discomfort

Powerless
Traumatized
Submissive
Disorientated

Predicament
Toxic
Suffocated
Discouraged

Panicking
Twisted
Self-critical
Despairing

Phobic
Turmoil
Stagnation
Despondent

Perturbed
Trampled
Swamped
Dissocial

Petrified
Tangled
Strangled
Dispirited

Perplexed
Thwarted
Stuttering
Disorganised

So many "labels" to explain
How negative this can be
This long dark tunnel that we sustain
Never once, setting us free

Yet, simple positives help you grow
To learn, and take onboard
With these 4 letters, you will know
Your soul can be restored

Positivity
Tenacity
Strength
Determination

These are ALL inside of YOU
However you may feel
There's so much help to draw them out
Help you to steady your keel

Your life can change, step by step
No rush and no "quick fix"
We military guys, there's no disguise
That we've ALWAYS "got your six!"