Description: Fun and joviality, enjoying the companionship of others.


Well..... what can I say about the poem "Hedge" ???
I was sat in my car, in the staff car park at Ginsters (yes, the pasty makers, amongst many other items that they make), as I was an Agency HGV1 Driver, on call.
I was simply waiting there, after checking in at the transport office, to let them know I was there if they needed me.
Yes, I was on my phone, on Facebook, talking to a friend of mine called Beth, who has always been very supportive of me especially at this time in my journey back, which would have been around 2015/16.
I was telling her that I had recently got back into writing some poetry, so seeing as she is a "spur of the moment" kinda person she gave me a challenge to write a poem, whilst sat in the car, about what I could see in front of me??? 
I think she gave me about 30-45 mins to complete the task, which in true Mission Impossible style, I chose to accept...
I was sat in a car park, for god's sake!!!
What was I thinking???
So I looked out of the windscreen,..... at lots of cars, ironically.....
So I just looked beyond the cars at a huge green hedge, that lines to entrance to the car park.... and this is what came out of my mind.....


It impairs my view
What's on the other side?
Was it put there on purpose?
Was the something to hide?

Lifeless, except.........
When there's a breeze
It's life is so different
Than the nearby trees.

Huddled together
To form a green wall
It grows so large 
from something so small.

Needs to be tended to
Or else it goes wild
When looked after, lovingly
You can be beguiled.

By it's shape and lush colour
Aesthetically pleased?
Your eyes wander over it
The mind being teased.

In all forms and sizes
It can be reshaped
As your standard green wall
Can be artistically escaped.

In the form of an Ostrich?
Or maybe....... a Swan?
The list of possibilities
Endless...... goes on.

What's interesting about it?
Is it can be so frightful
Yet, with some T.L.C.
So beautifully delightful.

Looked upon by so many
As something that's just "there"
Shaped with BIG scissors
Just like their own hair.

Though wonderfully different
When given some "edge"
And then EVERYONE wants
To look at your "HEDGE".


I applied to go to a poetry writing course, back in 2019 and this was over 2 days with an overnight stay at help for heroes HQ at Tedworth House in Wiltshire.
It was travel up the first day and get settled in and fed, watered and some sleep before the 1 day, all day course the following day.
Due to my distinctly shocking memory for names I cannot remember the lady's name who took the course, only to say that she was good friends with the current poet laureate, Simon Armitage.
Anyway the day went ahead, and although I was very anxious I settled into proceedings and there were only 5 of us Veterans on the course, which made it a bit more cosy, especially when the table we were sitting around was ENORMOUS, which was a relief, for me. 
So we had some hand outs about ideas for poetry, and did some readings too, as well as given plenty of guidance about writing itself and we discussed a lot.
Then we were given a task of writing an "ode" to something or someone.....
We were given 20 minutes to have a go at it, no need to finish it, no pressure.
I drew a complete blank, which for me is a rarity, as my mind just spews stuff out constantly on a daily basis.
This was bad..... until..... a plate of biscuits was put on the table to go with the tea/coffee we had just been brought.
I looked at the plate and thought........ YES!!!

And this is what appeared from my mind !!


The biscuit of my dreams?
Would be, definitely Custard Creams

I'll put you on the spot!!
Do you "DUNK" or NOT??

It's vanilla yumminess
In all it's scrumminess

In a sandwich of custard??
And all it's crumbiness

With coffee or tea?
Just the "ONE" for me....

..... NOT!!!

"snotty highland coo"

Ironically this poem was, indeed born in Bonnie Scotland.
November 2021, and I was staying in a holiday pod, near Gairloch, Wester Ross, up in the wild North West of Scotland, at a wonderful friend of mine Maria and her equally wonderful hubster, Mark's place for, I think, 5 days.
On entering their beautiful pod I noticed a wee soft toy Highland Cow ("Coo" in jockanese), and we became firm friends, as we had to really, seeing as we were room mates. I had a moment of inspiration one evening after a long day out in the changeable scottish weather (changeable meaning every 5 minutes!!).
I was just warming up, by having some lovely hot food, as the wind was blowing and one of those 2 minute rain storms was lashing the windows, when my inner child decided to write a poem as ideas were whizzing around inside my tiny mind.
So here it is, and I think this poem is meant to be read mostly by children, and of course, by those of us, and YOU know who YOU are, who embrace their "inner infant".


I'm being watched
What shall I do?
Feeling uncomfortable
Being eyed by a 'Coo'

Not just ANY 'Coo'
This one's a 'GINGE' !
Peering right at me
Through it's floppy red fringe

Can't tell if it's happy
Don't know if it's sad
It's certainly not smiling
So maybe it's mad

It takes a step forward
I take a step back
The size of those horns
I'm under attack

It moves even closer
I start to panic
There's a look in it's eye
That makes me feel manic

The wet shiny nose
Glistening in the light
It suddenly "SNORTS !"
And gives me a fright

Too close for comfort
It's breath on my skin
It's gaze is now fixed
I tremble within

I don't know what to do
What is this 'Coo's' issue?
It opens it's mouth
"Do you, please, have a tissue?"

"Exxxxxcuse me", I say
"Did you just speak?
Or am I imagining
Like some kind of freak?"

"I asked for a tissue
As I've got a wee cold.....
Not feeling that well
As I'm getting quite old"

"Errrrrr..... just let me see"
I dip into my rucksack
"You're in luck Mrs 'Coo'
I've just found a pack"

"Of lovely soft tissues
For wiping your 'snoot'
Just gimme a second
I'll get you one 'oot'

"Well, thank you kind Sir
For helping me 'oot'
The difficulty for me 
'IS' wiping my 'snoot'

"I have hooves, you see?
And not any fingers
Seems we're all the same 
Us BIG hairy 'Gin-gers'

"Can't hold a tissue
To blow my wet nose
So, if you'd oblige me
And grab one of those"

"Lovely soft tissues
And come to my aid
To finally confirm
This new friendship we've made"